Reviews
Album review: Opeth – The Last Will & Testament
Swedish prog metal overlords Opeth return with intense, beautifully delivered but ultimately baffling concept record.
Because some people seem to be struggling with the concept, here are some helpful songs you can listen to while practicing your social distancing…
Look, we know you’re likely pretty tired of hearing about bloody coronavirus by now, but it is a global pandemic and it is quite a big deal. Plus, it seems that despite the UK Government’s daily briefings, guidelines on social distancing aren’t being adhered to quite as stringently as they should be. Maybe brush up on the suggested steps we can all take to at least try to minimise the spread of COVID-19, eh?
And when you’re done with that, perhaps this handy playlist of social distancing-related songs will help really ram the point home…
Nirvana’s famously introverted frontman Kurt Cobain preferred to self-isolate long before it was a governmentally approved slice of health advice. This song was originally called Pay To Play, however, suggesting an entirely different meaning. But while you keep a safe distance of two metres away from anyone you do happen to encounter out in the wild, maybe try humming along with this helpful little number, should you feel tempted to get any closer.
Foo Fighters’ Dave Grohl wrote this song when he was inspired by the cult 1993 movie Arizona Dream (it’s got a very respectable 7.4 score on IMDB and starred Johnny Depp, apparently). But its meaning isn’t necessarily relevant right now. ‘There never seems to be enough space’ screams Dave Grohl, which in These Uncertain Times is a frightening prospect indeed. For those of you still sleeping at the back, enough space right now should mean at least two metres.
Still unsure about what constitutes a safe distance? Spacial awareness not what it might be? Maybe social distancing isn’t for you. So why not try this on for size? We’ve all felt like we want to be on our own from time to time, after all. For many, the sentiment (if not the original intentions or inspirations) of FIDLAR’s playful 2015 anthem may feel a whole lot more apt right now.
For anyone with even the faintest grasp of Avenged Sevenfold’s story, it’s obvious what inspired 2010 single, So Far Away. But the beautiful thing about music is how different people can interpret different meanings from songs, and once they’re in the public domain, they can mean something entirely different to each person. What better song to sing then as you catch up with loved ones across a garden fence or waving from one house to another!
Similarly, this song has a much heavier and obviously serious inspiration than its place in a list that’s just a bit of fun might suggest. But we could all do with some light relief when it feels like the whole world is on fire, eh? Plus, it’s a great song with some of the most uplifting examples of woah-ohs in the game. What’s not to love?
Being given the elbow by a significant other is hurtful at any time. Imagine that happening in the middle of a huge global pandemic? Bloody grim thought. But hey, if you know your love interest is a COVID-19 carrier, perhaps this jaunty Weezer song might be just what the doctor ordered!
‘Keep your distance, I don’t need you’ goes the heartwarming refrain on this Cali hardcore crew’s 2003 punisher, and frankly, that’s pretty solid advice when there’s a killer virus doing the rounds. Open this shit up… and keep it open, people!
It’s amazing how much of this song applies to so many of us right now. ‘Barred indoors from the summer street’? Season aside, yep. ‘I sit around and watch the tube but nothing’s on’? All too real, dude. ‘I’m so damn bored, I’m going blind’? Ahem…. Anyway, if you do need to interact with another human being, perhaps, adopt the… longview of video calling for now.
Despite looking like they could have done with listening to their own advice, staying clean is some top-notch advice from Lemmy and the lads. During a global pandemic such as this COVID-19 outbreak, always remember to wash your hands. A lot. For fucking ages. No, keep going, 20 seconds is longer than you think…
Let’s be real, with the spread of this thing being so rapid and terrifying, it might be a good idea to take the theme behind this grunge classic to heart, because we sure as shit aren’t getting to see our actual mates any time soon. We could probably all do with being better to ourselves anyway, so why not try to be our own best friends a little more? COVID-19 or not, it’s a lovely idea.
For when social distancing isn’t enough and you just want to close the blinds, batten down the hatches and close yourself off from the rest of the infected masses. This is the perfect soundtrack to hiding indoors with endless Netflix, pizza and cold drinks to wile away the germ-worry-filled hours.
If, even after reading all the official guidelines on what social distancing is you’re still one of the many fucking idiots failing to manage it, maybe you should just interpret two metres to mean ‘a million miles away…’? Go on, do us all a favour.
‘Oh hey, it’s that song from Jackass…’
*dons surgical gloves and smacks anybody who says this on the head for all of eternity*