All in all, LØLØ says the recent operation on her vocal cords went well. It just sucks that it also turned out to be fucking gross.
“Unfortunately, I was awake for the laser surgery and it was pretty disgusting!” she begins, her trademark raspy voice coming through much quieter than usual. “I could feel it, I could hear it, and I could smell it.”
A face-creasing wince follows.
“I could smell my burning flesh...”
Suffice to say, the potent aroma of her own sizzling tissue wasn’t something LØLØ ever anticipated experiencing. Just a few months ago, she was supporting Simple Plan on tour with no issues whatsoever. She was warming up every night. She was cooling down. She wasn’t drinking. She was having early nights. Even LØLØ – a chronic overthinker hardwired for self-deprecation as opposed to self-congratulation – admits she was slaying on tour.
“I was in the best vocal shape of my entire life!” she smiles as she catches up with K! from Miami. And yet, having avoided every voice-frazzling gauntlet thrown up on the road, just two days after the tour ended, LØLØ managed to Stan her way into surgery. No, seriously…
“I went to see my best friend's show at a small club in Toronto and when he came onstage I screamed like he was Joe Jonas,” she laughs. “I was just trying to be supportive and then I felt something immediately. I gave myself a polyp – I don't even know what the fuck it is, it’s like a blister on the vocal cord that can pop.”
Which brings us neatly to December 18, a round of laser surgery, burning flesh and a recovery period that hasn’t been the easiest for a passionate conversationalist and expert quip-maker. At first LØLØ had to go five days without talking. Later, she was able to ratchet that up to one minute. The increments keep going up.
“I'm only allowed to speak for 20 minutes at the moment, but it’s not like at 21 minutes I'm gonna die,” she says. “But for a long time I was dying to cough, and I'm not allowed to cough!”
The good news is that just because LØLØ can’t sing – or cough – right now doesn’t mean we can’t hear her at her very best. Prior to Not-Joe-Jonas Gate, she’d been hard at work on the follow-up to her brilliant debut falling for robots and wishing i was one. It was a record that established her as an empress of empathy and executioner of exes. Equal parts heartfelt and hilarious, the pop-punk pyrotechnics and romantic folly on display on that debut made her one of the most exciting new stars in rock.
You can tell from her face how happy she is to be back, it’s just she only has 20 minutes, or possibly 21, to give us the LØLØwdown about her just-announced second record, god forbid a girl spits out her feelings!.